Commitments: Tracy

A year ago one of my best friends called me up and said, “I’m going to paint everyday for a year. Do you want to join me and write everyday?”

I said yes, and what a difference that has made in my life. I agreed to join her in hopes that I’d get my writing in motion instead of it just being a dream I hoped to reach someday. Instead I got a crash course in all kinds of things, like opening my eyes to all the different thoughts and habits that were holding me back, and the fears I’d buried so deep I didn’t even know they were there.

Oh, yeah—I got my writing in motion as well.

Somewhere over the course of the year, it finally clicked: the key to doing anything is DOING something.

Not just writing. ANYTHING.

It was an intriguing possibility. What could I do with this new knowledge?

There were points in the first year of doing that writing was not enjoyable. It was my work, and it was my way of doing a lot of emotional work as well. I found myself trying other things just for some kind of outlet (translation: procrastination). I uncovered interests that I’d forgotten…and realized that I was having fun.

It felt really good.

One of the many things I realized about myself over this first year of doing was the extreme lack of play in my life. I was a serious child who skipped recess (by choice!), who grew into a an adult who just isn’t all that good at engaging in some activity  just for the fun of it.

Only now I had the knowledge and the experience to know that I could change that if I wanted.

So now that we have started a new year, I’m changing my commitments to reflect what I’ve learned that I need at this point in my life.

 

I commit to doing what I love:

Writing:

  • I will write at least seven hours a week.
  • I will talk about my writing on the blog when I have the urge to do so, and only then.

 

Playing with Beauty:

  • I will play with beautiful things at least seven hours a week.
  • I will play around with photography. I will try different things just to see how it turns out.
  • I will make jewelry.
  • I will look at my wardrobe as an area where I can express my creativity.
  • I will allow myself to play with art supplies without telling myself I don’t know what I’m doing.
  • I will welcome the surprises that will come from not setting a rigid agenda for this daily “recess”. If I find something new I’d like to play with…I will accept that and have fun with it!

 

I commit to working through the obstacles that have kept me from doing what I love to do.

This year my focus is on trusting myself. I have a tendency to do incredible amounts of research in order to prevent making mistakes, and that research often takes the place of action. I want to change that. When I find myself starting to procrastinate taking action by doing research, I will do the following:

  • Drop Expectations. What happens, happens. I will not try to control the outcome.
  • Allow Imperfection. I have spent far too long trying desperately to avoid mistakes and imperfections. It’s exhausting, and it doesn’t work! I will invite imperfections in, and when I’m ready, I will learn to embrace them.
  • Dive In! Instead of trying to figure out the entire process before I start something, I will jump in and get started. I will trust that I know more than I think I do and that I will be able to find the help I need when I need it.